


Hugging You

by INeverHadMyInternetPhase



Series: QPR Verse [7]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2012 phan but like happy, Established Relationship, Fluff, Future Planning, I'm trying to stick to the timeline but honestly this series is all over the place, M/M, Queerplatonic Relationships, Relationship Discussions, and Dan is busy thinking as per usual, they're moving to London
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-25 02:36:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16188314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/INeverHadMyInternetPhase/pseuds/INeverHadMyInternetPhase
Summary: Asking for a joint gaming channel is basically the same as a marriage proposal, right?





	Hugging You

**Author's Note:**

> For my @charlottekath, as ever
> 
> Title is from Tom Rosenthal's song because it to me sums up DnP (and also most parts of this series so far are named after Tom Rosenthal lyrics so I have to keep up the tradition)

“I want a gaming channel with you.”

Phil glanced over from where he was sprawled across the sofa, lifting one brow high. “Dan. Really?”

Dan bit his lip, nodding from where he was hovering in the doorway. “A gaming channel.”

Phil stared at him, half-upside down, his limbs hanging off the sofa and in great danger of knocking into the precarious pile of boxes next to him. “We’re in the middle of moving to London. Can’t it wait?”

“Yeah, no, I just.” Dan bit his lip, hard, and looked away. Uh oh. Phil had come to recognise that look, and he knew well enough when Dan was avoiding something. “Doesn’t matter.”

“No, wait.” Phil heaved himself a little more upright, reaching out to grasp the edges of Dan’s hoody before Dan could make an escape into another room (or at least around another pile of boxes). “Talk to me. What is it?”

Dan looked determinedly down at the floor. “S’all good, Phil. Don’t worry about it.”

Phil didn’t let go of him. Instead, he tugged insistently on Dan’s sleeve until he could get Dan to come closer to him, eventually pulling him down on the sofa. Dan went gladly enough – in fact, before Phil could stop him he suddenly found himself with an armful of Dan, his head shoved in Phil’s shoulder, his hands tucked around Phil’s ribs.

Phil hugged him back and chuckled. “Yeah, sure. Everything’s totally fine.”

“Shut up,” Dan mumbled, hiding his face in Phil’s collarbone.

Phil chuckled again, but otherwise stayed silent. He tightened his grip around Dan, one hand gently rubbing up and down his back, the other hand softly smoothing through his hair. Dan’s hair was getting too long again. Phil’s mum said they both needed haircuts as soon as possible, but Phil would miss gently tugging his fingers through Dan’s hair, untangling it, stroking down the side of his face.

He would also miss the way it made Dan relax totally into him, stretching like a satisfied cat.

Dan was, however, poky and heavy, gangly and full of bones, so Phil eased himself up a little and brought Dan with him until Dan was effectively curled up in his lap. “Are you going to tell me now?”

“S’not important,” Dan mumbled, his face still insistently pressed into Phil’s shoulder. “Doesn’t matter.”

If Phil believed Dan every time Dan said something wasn’t the matter, then nothing would ever get done and they’d both be a lot unhappier than they were. So he held Dan against him, taking his time, knowing that Dan would unwind eventually and Phil would be there when he did.

It took several minutes of cuddling and Phil’s left knee going numb before Dan finally mumbled, “S’just, we’re at that level, right?”

Phil blinked. “What level?”

Dan retreated further into Phil’s collarbones. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Dan,” Phil sighed fondly, running his fingers through Dan’s hair again. He knew it took a while to unpack Dan’s thoughts, and understanding everything that went on in his brain was all but impossible to Phil. The difference was, Phil stuck around despite that, when a lot of people in Dan’s life seemed to give up on him before they could truly understand him. None of Dan’s uni friends were still in touch, almost a year after Dan had dropped out.

He hoped it didn’t upset Dan too much that Phil was really the only person in his life. Phil tried to be there for him as much as possible because of it, knowing that Dan was his and his alone. He just wanted to make Dan happy.

So Phil thought about what he could mean, and figured out the right thing to say, or at least, what he _hoped_ was the right thing. “I think we’re at joint gaming channel level, yeah.”

Dan snorted into Phil’s shoulder, but the sound was full of affection. Phil squeezed him tighter against his chest and closed his eyes, breathing in the boy who had put so much trust into him, enough that they were moving to London with only their worldly possessions and no furniture and a one-off show with BBC radio that might not even become regular.

A lot of trust indeed.

“Joint gaming channel, that’s practically marriage in the youtuber world,” Dan muttered, almost too low for Phil to hear.

But Phil caught it. “Dan, are you asking me to marry you?”

“No!” Dan lifted his head, eyes wide, to stare directly at Phil. “That’s not what I’m saying at _all._ Just. You know. Stuff.”

Phil did his very best to bite back a grin. “Just stuff?”

“Yeah.” Dan glanced down again, at where Phil’s hand was resting against Dan’s hip, rubbing gently (but making sure to keep a layer of clothing safely between them. Phil still really wasn’t fond of nudity, and Dan understood).

Phil tilted his head, trying to see Dan’s expression. “What sort of stuff, hm?”

Dan swallowed. He tilted his head back, sighed, and rearranged himself a little so that he was curled up against Phil’s chest, one leg swinging out so wildly that he knocked a pile of boxes over.

Phil winced.

Dan released a heavy sigh, and then the words started flowing out of him, turning from a trickle to a hailstorm. “Just, like, we’re together, but nobody _knows_ it, and I like it that way – it’s ours for now, like our private life is private and I like that – but sometimes I want to show off that we’re joined, you know? More than, like, living together and being each other’s top suggested channels.”

Phil nodded, keeping up.

“So I was thinking, you know I’ve been thinking of this for a while, about a gaming channel, because I really want to do, like, reviews and stuff.” Dan paused for breath. “But the thing is, 90% of the games I play are ones I play with you—”

“Apart from Guild Wars,” Phil pointed out.

Dan let out a soft laugh. “Yeah, not Guild Wars, but the rest of them it’s, like, we play them together – or I play and you watch, or you play and I rescue you when you fail spectacularly—”

“I do not!” Phil huffed.

Dan grinned at him. “Sure. My point is – if I was gonna make a gaming channel, which I want to, then it makes the most sense to do it with you, right?”

Phil gave him a serious look. “Are you _actually_ proposing marriage to me?”

“I hate you,” Dan groaned, whacking Phil’s shoulder.

Phil laughed. “Sorry. It’s just – yes, we could absolutely make a gaming channel together, there’s nothing weird about that. Why is it weird to you?”

Dan wriggled. “Just – like, it’s kind of a tying-us-together thing, isn’t it? Having an actual channel together? Like, both our names to a project for the first time.”

“The Christmas radio show is both of us,” Phil pointed out. “Amazingphil and danisnotonfire—”

“I’m really going to have to change that someday.” Dan wrinkled his nose. “Also, it should totally be the other way round – it’s _Dan and Phil_ not _amazingphil and danisnot_ – ugh. You get it.”

Phil smiled into Dan’s shoulder. “So on our gaming channel it’ll be _Dan and Phil_?”

“Maybe. Eventually, yeah.” Dan hid his face back in Phil’s chest – an impressive feat considering how much taller than him Dan was getting – and mumbled, “Not like, right now, but – yeah, one day.”

“This is definitely a marriage proposal,” Phil deadpanned.

Dan shoved him. “It is _not_. But, like – it’s a big deal. Properly joining our names together in the public eye, what if people, like – what if they think we’re something we’re not?”

Phil rubbed Dan’s arm as soothingly as he could. “We can think about it. Position ourselves as best friends and let people read into that what they will?”

Dan grimaced. “Best friends. Yeah. I mean, it’s kinda what we are, right?”

Phil nodded slowly, looking down at the gangly person sitting in his lap. _His_ person. The only person in the world who managed to break into Phil’s heart and build himself a home there, who made himself such an intrinsic part of Phil’s world that Phil literally couldn’t imagine life without him. Someone who made Phil feel safe with who he was, who made sure to always be clothed around him despite them sharing a house and a bed and who told Phil it didn’t matter if he didn’t quite fit in, because he fit in with Dan and that was really all that mattered.

His best friend, except that didn’t nearly do him justice.

“It’s the closest,” Phil murmured, cradling Dan against him, “But it’s nowhere near enough. You’re my _person_ , my partner, my favourite thing in the world. I wish there was a way I could explain it.”

Dan’s lips twitched. “English language hasn’t got there yet, I’m afraid.” He patted Phil on the head. “My QPP, except I don’t even want to think about the number of questions we’d get about _that_.”

Phil nodded fervently. Dan had shown him the words _queerplatonic relationship_ when he’d first found them, and Phil found himself somewhat sharing in Dan’s excitement. A word for what they were – a couple that didn’t kiss, who shared a bed but always remained fully clothed, partners who lived together but would never ever _dream_ of having sex. Something that Phil finally found himself blessed to have.

And he was never going to let Dan go.

“Anyway. We can think about it.” Dan curled himself back up into Phil’s chest. “Thanks for letting me spew words at you again. I just – it was in my head, you know, how we’ll never be able to do anything together without people speculating. Like, living together, fine, lots of youtubers do that, but in a few years when everyone’s moving on but we’re still living together and when we have a channel and like maybe even a whole youtube empire around us, what will people think then? They’re gonna assume the worst kind of things—”

“It doesn’t matter,” Phil interrupted with a ridiculously happy smile on his face. It always warmed his heart to hear Dan talking about the future, _their_ future, in such an assured way, as if it was obviously going to happen without the million and one things standing in their way. “We’ll buy a house and get a dog together and leave people to think whatever they want.”

Dan grinned back at him, and Phil’s heart clenched at the way his entire face creased up, too-long hair getting in his eyes. “Yeah. A house and a dog. You’re on, Lester.”

Phil hummed, reaching out to swipe the hair out of Dan’s eyes. “But first, moving. You’re picking up the boxes you knocked over.”

Dan wailed, but it only made Phil feel pure fondness. He was so ridiculously in love with Dan, and he knew Dan was in love with him too – in their way, in the best way.

He didn’t need anything else. Just his Dan.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [tumblr](http://ineverhadmyinternetphase.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/myalgicjulia)


End file.
